Finding God at the Laundromat

I don't go to the laundromat too often, I usually try to make due (just barely) with the little laundry room at the end of my building. But on occasion I get *way* behind and hit the 'mat to try and catch up. The last time I did this I read a Don Miller book (and posted about it).

This time I brought Traveling Mercies, by Anne Lamott. Some of you have raved about her so I'd bought this and the next book, but I hadn't gotten to them yet. Reading at the laundromat is very intense....very focused for me. I read the first 60 or so pages of this book...and the last couple of chapters that I read had me in tears. It's just &$@(#* amazing (as I told a friend).

This is just what I was in need of. I really realized that yesterday when IP said in email "don't let St. Mychurch consume you". I've been so caught up lately with being overworked and overtired. Stressing things that need not be stressed over...I haven't made any time for God...hemming and hawing about seminary....St. Mychurch........and making no time for Me and God. I've just been throwing up quick prayers of "God, I need you to guide me here, I've gotten myself frazzled...help me find my way back."

This past week has made me think more seriously that I need to find different employment for the next year....so that I can prepare....mentally....physically.....to get back into school....to prepare for the ministry....rather than falling into it...a ball of nerves from a corporate system that I am not made for.

my post for the day

Peace to you dear friends. I find myself seeking that a lot lately. My brain is a bit frazzled from the full-time job that I have and its stresses....and the seemingly full-time job(s) that I have (well, okay, okay....maybe 15 hours a week) at church. I've been getting to know the IP. I do like her, she's an interesting character. I've also been serving as AM the last few weeks...and will for a few more before we add some variety. I sang the Kyrie for the first time today. I was worried about it all week. I knew it frontwards and backwards.....but I just wasn't happy with the sound coming out of my mouth. This morning I tried to suck it up and say "just do it RuthRE, it's not all about you anyway". I practiced it fine enough with our organist beforehand. I thought it was pretty iffy in the end. Ahh well.....something that will only improve.

So, serving as AM has been a catalyst of sorts. There's only a few more people who have yet to come up to me and ask a question equating to "So, are you going to be a pastor?" Thankfully they follow that with some sort of lovely praise and agreement that they think I'd be good at it. The trouble is I'm still not confirming, and am responding with non-commital answers. It's a bit overwhelming at the time.

My parents are coming for Easter and I will also be AM that Sunday. Between that and my congregation greeting them...I suppose it's either I tell them before Easter.....or on Easter about my plans. I hesitate to throw the emotional aspect onto my mother that day because we'll be eating with her family...my brother will be in town...etc. She's a blubbery mess on days like this anyway.

Oy, I'm tired.

Mark's Meme

Mark did a MEME. And apparently...if Mark jumped off a bridge, I would too.

1. Who was your first prom date?
John C. He was a year or two younger, a foot or so shorter, and I had to drive.
I was originally planning on taking one of the gay boys cuz I didn't want to go stag....but I really didn't like the idea of HAVING to take someone.....and its implied relationship....of dating or soon-to-be. I dunno. We did have fun though. He was a nice kid and was happy to get to go. I think he was very proud of his tux too.

2. Who was your first roommate?
I did have two roomates for mayve 1-2 weeks freshman year. I won't count that. It DID NOT work. I roomed with Linda the rest of the year. She and I went to high school together...but were not regularly in each other's company. We got along great for a while. Second half of the year she mysteriously started hating me and spending all of her time away from the room. Years later she found me IM or email and appologized, she wasn't sure what happened either.
C'est la Vie. I haven't had a roomate (other than the cat) since. I transferred to a different school my second year and didn't manage to get campus housing.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?
I think I tried a sip of beer once as a young teen. That grossed me out (however I do like beer now). First real drink was in college, on a theatre trip in the big apple....midori sour. I wanted something "fluffy and sweet".

4. What was your first job?
Babysitting technically I guess. That the government knew about? Washing dishes and putting out a salad bar at a theater center.

5. What was your first car?
That I drove, a Cavalier.
That I owned an old Volvo station wagon.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
I just happened to be talking about this the other day with my mom. It was my great grandmother's funeral. (my mom's mom's mom). I remember Amazing Grace was sung at it. I remember that every time I hear the song. I was 3 or 4. She sang in her choir into her 90s I think. From this conversation, I learned about that side of the family in terms of faith tradition. There was one church in town....with three congregations...we figure it was Congregational, Methodist and Episcopal. This is where my mom was baptised. So I'm a true protestant mutt :) With a dominant Lutheran gene I guess :)

7. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Brown. I don't recall much. Other than we had show and tell.....and read a reader called Balloons and/or Bears. And we used to have a lady come a few times a year...who was a storyteller.

8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Florida. Sixth grade. I'll give you one guess where to.

9. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Nope. Didn't do it. I didn't have a curfuw. I didn't have a reason to sneak out. I was not incredibly exciting anyway. My crowd's idea of a good time was playing games, watching movies and drinking mountain dew.

10. Where was your first sleepover?
Either Jen's or Ruby's. I don't recall. Ruby's house was fun....her parents were true artist/hippie/neato people. I didn't quite realize til I ran into them a couple years ago that they had an influence on my creative side (and i think indirectly my politics).

11. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
Heh. Myself I guess. I think I head toward one co-worker first before others. Well, cuz I don't actually mind him...unlike most of the rest.

12. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
My older brothers. A bridesmaid. Almost 7 years ago now, wow.

13. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Generally feed the cat I guess. Cuz he is annoying the crap out of me by attacking my feet or nosing around in papers/books that I left on the side of the bed.

14. What was the first concert you ever went to?
Wow, this requires some thought. I assume this means professional type concert :)
I did not go to a *real* concert til....at least college. I've always had a unique taste in music. Maybe Diana Krall? Maybe Ben Folds Five? Would Victor Borge count? I treated my dad to that when I was in HS. Jesus Christ Superstar? no..that's a whole show...

15. First tattoo or piercing?
Just the normal ears. One hole each. Not til junior high (7th grade I think). I'm bad about remembering that the holes are there and putting something in them!

16. First celebrity crush?
Dick Van Dyke because of Mary Poppins.
I think he's still very handsome for a fella in his 80's :)

16. First celebrity crush?
Even though I had a "boyfriend" for a few weeks in a year prior. I'd say first crush was actually a boy named Kevin. It seems really silly now, these many years removed.

18. First TRUE love?
Yeah, no. I think the longest I've "dated" someone was a month. It's not committment issues...I'm just picky. If I'd dated a "true love" methinks I'd be married then.

19. When was your first detention?
Fourth grade. I got accused of throwing a book at a boy named Daniel....who everyone was accusing of having "cooties" just before the incident. The book in fact fell out of my hands to the floor. I did NOT throw it...it was really insane to think that I would've been capable of that!
Stupid Mrs. K.

20. What is the first big trip you remember taking?
Hmm well first outside of new england....was a long drive in a station wagon to Chicago. I sat in the "way back" which unlike Mark's *did* have a seat belt. I have two brothers and I would've spent the entire two day drive in the middle with my feet on the "hump" otherwise. I liked the "way back" it was like my own little travel room. I could spread out. The only trouble with this whole arangement was this....it was the first car that my dad owned that had AC. So he didn't knwo what to expect. Well.....It was hot as hades in the "way back"....and all there was back there was those little fin/flip windows to vent. Years later we found out that the AC NEVER worked in that car in the 10 years that we owned it. I like to remind him of this :) I met the 87 Mets and Cubs at a game.


So there!

Yeah, so...

Know how I said I had the candidacy app forms in hand? That is cuz I printed them from the elca website. As of today's mail...I REALLY have them in hand. The synod sent me a letter, a document explaining the candidacy process, the forms and "What Shall I Say" (which I already have..).

I wasn't expecting mail from them just yet! I also see that the letter was cc'd to the A to the B, chair of the candidacy committee.....and our church council (along with the congregational registration packet). So......I guess I thought I could still leisurely go at this and announce it when I felt ready (which was going to be soon enough!). I didn't realize the app fee was THAT big :)

So, I guess I need to fast forward on figuring out when/how to tell my parents about all this. Did I mention that they don't know? My mother will be upset that her little girl will be moving a few more hours away. I'm not entirely sure either how her, or my dad feel about ordination of women. I know they'll support my decision...but it'll be awkward to begin.

Each new step along the way has made this all seem more "real". This one seems REALLY real. I think that just set off a little anxiety. A little. It doesn't change anything. My, my, my.

My Day...well... The Lord's Day

I do believe that I had a pretty good day today. The sun was out, which was very welcomed after a Friday storm. I got to church early to go over the service with our interim. I served as our assisting minister today, something that I actually haven't done before....but something that seems incredibly familiar as though I have done it all my life. Members of the choir complimented me when I came over to sing the offertory with them. People kept complimenting me the rest of the day. It was nice to hear, although I felt odd being complimented for participating in worship. The comments were along the lines of “you're a natural up there”, “you should do that all the time”, “you should do that for a living, are you going back to school? (wink)”. In fact 2 or 3 people who didn't know, were granted confirmation from me that (as you know) I was indeed looking into seminary. I think I'm already a rumor! How fun!

Then I ran right off to teach my Sunday School class..(who were a pain in my butt today). I think I showed less patience than usual. Then I ran off to organize the confirmation kids to get food before class. We had class. It was great, the kids are very creative and bright. Which also means very talkative and rambunctious! IP and I had fun (I think) teaching that class. I was not as prepared as I would've liked.....but an experienced Rev. can always fill in the gaps!

What comes next? A decent nap attempt. Then I got online and found www.lutheranpeace.org, and found a Peace Service and a Hunger Awareness Meal program. Both neat things that I think our youth can get involved with.

Now I sit here with an old B&W flick on TCM in the background, with 'the giddies' from thinking of my future career..which let's be honest I am already participating in.

Sooo, I led worship yesterday. I did a sermonette on the mustard seed parable.
I even chanted a bit of the evening prayer service(but not all...we were without accompanist). I think it went well.

Quite a week....we start with some new (temporary) leadership on Sunday. And guess who's pegged to be AM? I guess we haven't had AM's in YEARS.....at least ten (i've been around three). There's always been an intern around I guess. It'll be interesting :) We'll both be up there trying something new.

Which Comes First.....?

Okay. So.
I have candidacy forms in hand (a la elca.org and formatta).
I have seminary application in hand (actually they all sent me one).
I'm going to set up a Sem visit, oh probably in a month (boo weather).
There is an awareness of some sort within the synod office that I intend to enter the ministry.
I'm telling more and more people, and becoming happier and happier about my decision with each person I tell.
In an ideal situation I would start Sem in the fall.
In this situation however, I have a condo to sell (and well...clean out...and weed out first). Funding to secure. A cat to figure out. A congregation that needs me for a little while longer at least for their youth ministry. A congregation that still on the whole does not know my intent.

The more complicated parts of this....the condo selling (timing? where do i live between...further complicated by..._) the cat....what do I do with the cat? It's so silly but....I'm kinda attached to the stupid fuzzball.

Oh but please tell me,....which comes first....applying for candidacy or applying for seminary? Please advise...because I've become confused. I've gotten an impression that applying for sem will somehow lead into the candidacy process...

Hey....so due to a slight gap....I am leading our midweek worship this week.
I don't know that I'm going to try to tackle a full sermon.....but I want to give a "reflection"...okay...mini-sermon....sermon-lite.

The gospel for Wed is the parable of the mustard seed (and the yeast).
Recccomendations for theme/focal point?

Gracias.

Jello, what else?

I just made a jello pie. I used cranberry. Such a Lutheran dish, ain't it? If it comes out good, maybe I'll make a green one for Easter breakfast :)

So, I talked to Synod PG about Sem. He's also Sem PG. I should still have a nice talk with RP.
Every time I talk about sem with any pastor...I feel like (get ready for this analogy) a young Jedi....talking to older Jedi....about the possibility that I might too be a Jedi....and that our discussions become the older Jedi saying "oh yes definately....you are a Jedi I see the force is strong in you young one. you must definately be trained in the ways of the force".

Heh. I bought a book yesterday to start learning greek....figured a head start would be a good idea.

psst

(someone came to visit the blog from new england today....eek! darn sitemeter and the paranoia that you create!)